quickie movie reviews

SHADOWBOXER - it's like... if the crying game and mr. and mrs. smith and the golden girls had a menage trois. the cast in weird. cuba gooding jr and helen mirren are assassins as well as lovers. the sex scenes are off the hook INSANE. visually, it's one of the most luscious gorgeous modern day thriller i have seen. there's a poor-man's angelina jolie actress in it as well as a zebra. yeah. right?

PIRAHNA - yeah, the 70's classic. it's great!

DEATH RACE 2000 - yeah, corman.... it's great!

I KNOW WHO KILLED ME - hahahahahahaha. bad but fun to watch. i am now sorta thinking that lindsay lohan's peak was mean girls. she's insanely bad, but funny in this movie. the entire time i was watching this movie, i was like, "is that juliette binoche? oh my god, it is juliette binoche.... what the fuck is juliette binoche doing in this movie???" definitely a good fun watch with the friends. she's not a bad pole dancer....

america's next top graphic designer

i've known my friend, sarah b. since elementary school. since high school spread us all apart (my elementary friends and all) we've managed to keep connected through myspace/friendster/facebook.

sarah and i had a long email exchange about childhood friends and who we thought were cute and not cute, who we had crushes on, who were mean then and probs still mean now, and who did this drug and who's done that drug, and who's remained pretty much the same, but matured of course, with time....

and then in january, she told me that she found our sixth grade graduation program.

so i told her to scan that and send it to me asap.

of course, i didn't realize that she has since, changed her last name.... so i sorted it into spam and it's been sitting there since january.... and then today, as in a couple of minutes ago, i found it and downloaded the pdf.... and i opened up the front page of the promotion.... and...

I TOTALLY FUCKING DESIGNED THE FRONT PAGE AND I DON'T REMEMBER DOING IT!

well, once i saw the handwriting, i knew it was me.. and then i saw my name on it (an artist is supposed to take credit right?) ha ha. i photoshopped out my name cause it's UGLY and a big distraction.

i think the composition is hilarious.

1. the name of the school (not hilarious)
2. i list subjects and then then i list something pertaining to the subject

that is where i think the hilarity ensues... (BUT you might not think of it as funny as i do)

SCIENCE : atoms, growth

i think this is funny cause i don't remember learning about atoms back then and after i've taken several chemistry classes in college (one of which i failed miserably) i still don't know what an atom is, besides the fact that they're really small.

LANGUAGE : essay, report

just think about it. i'm 11 and i'm already obsessed with cholos/cholas.

SPELLING : happy, ???

i was such a "happy" kid. and i cannot decipher what i wrote next to the word "happy"

fact: i misspelled "balloon" in the second grade spelling bee. i was totally traumatized

READING : greek myths

yes, i was obsessed with greek mythology back then. specifically narccissus, echo, psyche, hermes, and aphrodite. how fucking fitting right???? my friends call me narccissus, i own an hermes scarf, i tell myself that i am a goddess of love all the time, i'm psychotic, and... the list goes on...

ART : (a line drawing of a WHALE)

w.t.f.? ha ha ha. i am so awesome.

MATH : 5x56 , 8 squared, 24/28, and a mother-fucking TRIANGLE

5x56 = 280, 8 squared = 64, and a mother-fucking TRIANGLE (hmmm...)

5, 56, 28, 8, 64, 3 : y'all should be playin' the lotto this weekend.

SOCIAL STUDIES : canada, latin america

apparently, even as a child, i wasn't very patriotic... and again, what's up with the cholo/chola fever? and we all know, canadians are hottt... eh?

two kittens talking & translation

this is one of the cutest things ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974



translation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JynBEX_kg8

brownie is such an odd word

my friend diana is having issues posting images on her blog so i'm gonna post what i made last night to see if it works!

brownies!

i've never made them before and although i find them totally delicious... they're not coming off the dish properly! they're super sticky at the bottom! part of me thinks that it's cause i didn't cook it all the way through, but i was told it was done! the top looks and tastes delicious... but it's super sticky and chewy! i need some hot tea with these stat! i put a teaspoon of oil on the glass bottom before i poured in the brownie batter. hmmmmph!

anyways, did i mention they're really DELICIOUS??? :)

baked

so i finally started to do something i haven't ever done before. baking cakes.

my first try was a golden butter cake with chocolate frosting. it's a little weird looking, but it's supposed to be a cho-cha. i'm quite proud of it. it's better lookin' from a bird's eye view but i doesn't look right on my camera phone.... so that's this:



then i made a strawberry cake.... in the shape of boobies. (no photo)

and i got the baking fever.

i also make a great red velvet cake. actually, we made heart-shaped ones. it's so strange cause no one at the house likes red velvet cake! just me! which is fine.

then i made a traditional yellow cake. see, better with the frosting right?



and then for the finale, most recently, a heart-shaped carrot cake.

yummies. i also made some heart-shaped cupcakes sans frosting for a little bit more of a healthy treat... (it is after all, carrot cake... and carrots have beta-carrotine! get it?) how ghetto is that cupcake with the fork punctures! hey! i was checking to see if it was done!

shrimp chips revenge

one time, in class... there were these "cool" kids.... and they all sat at a table away from the other kids... and they would laugh and talk about punk rock shows and talk about getting drunk and going to parties.... and they would eat these shrimp chips. and on that day... i was sitting in the table over. they invited everyone around them to the party while they ate these distinctively smelly asian chips... and they were like "oh, lemme have some of those shrimp chips..."

and i sat there and they put the bag there in front of me... but didn't offer any to me. so i sat there... smelling these shrimp chips...

i just read this on cnn:

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) -- South Korea's food authorities will investigate a factory in China after a bag of a popular snack food it produced contained what appeared to be a rat's head.

The suspected animal part was found in a popular snack made in China.

The Korea Food and Drug Administration said Thursday it will send investigators to the factory that produces popular shrimp crackers for South Korea's leading processed food company Nongshim after the suspected animal part was found.

Nongshim has apologized for the incident and is recalling the snack from shops across South Korea.

********************

it was like, china was my big brother watching over me and all i can think of is that they probs ate a rat's head and not know it.

yay!

quickie movie reviews

10,000 B.C. - oh my god. it’s so bad... it’s not worthy of being called bad. the worst special effects EVER. as bad as DRAGON WARS... which is the first time, i fell asleep before the halfway mark... and i didn’t even care.

ZODIAC - interesting. i recommend it. it’s a true life mystery. the only unbelievable part of the movie is that jake gyllenhaal is a father of two.

NANNIE DIARIES - cute. laura linney is great. scarjo is also pretty good. the ending is a little cheezy. actually, the more i think about it.. it’s the same plot as THE DEVIL’S WEAR PRADA... equal amount of prada in both movies.

SWEENEY TODD (johnny depp) - bad. boring. stupid. dumb. pretty art direction.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - good. not great. a good watch. cinematography is very self-aware. javier bardem should have been nominated as best actor, not supporting actor... but then, he wouldn’t win.

I KNOW WHO KILLED ME - damn it. the dvd i bought is scratched and won’t go past the title credits. DAMN IT TIMES TWO.

giggles!

i just discovered that npr’s wait wait, don’t tell me! is on itunes podcast.

LOVE IT!

the only two podcasts i ever listen to are: real time with bill maher and wait wait, don’t tell me!

when i was a teenager, i thought paula poundstone was the funniest (sarcastic style) comedian... before margaret cho and ellen (yeah, ellen actually does have good humor pieces in her stand up) and paula’s on one of the podcasts!

finally, one redeeming reason why i like apple (they are so money hungry and greedy.... like all other giant corporations...) sigh....

if you’ve never heard wait wait don’t tell me!.... it’s a game show that involves just current new stories of the day/week. one bit is... the host reads three quotes from the news and some caller has to guess who the quotes are from. if you get 2 out of 3 correct, you get to have the host do your voicemail message. another bit is asking some pseudo celebrity (blah blah who is the vice pres of the school board for ohio.... or some mixed-martial artist... or some musician) and they they play for the caller and have to correctly answer 2 out of 3 questions or whatever... and then they have a lightning round to see which comedians is the most up to date. they have three comedians who also read headline events.... two are false stories and one is true and a caller has to guess which one... (i.e. maxium’s hubbaloo with not listening to cds all the way through before writing a review of the band...)

it’s sorta romantic... good old fashion humor. :) and it keeps me up to date with world news!

and real time with bill maher... is of course.. an audio recording of the hbo show (i don’t have hbo!) which is also great cause i have been watching/listening to bill maher since i was... like... 15? maybe even younger.... i can’t remember....

yay!

paula poundstone - ladies of the night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7P919gwz6Y

short circuit

my friend just lent me ghost in the shell 1 & 2 and while watching the second one... i realized that there’s some idea borrowing back and forth.... most notably... the robots.

1. hans bellmer is an artist from germany who crafted dolls in very surreal ways...
to read more : refer to link below to of course... wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Bellmer

chris cunningham’s video for bjork’s song is amazing. since then, i’ve seen it on i-robot and some vodka ads.... and then when i watched i am legend... the zombies in that also looked like the same robots except with skin. not too inventive... oh well.

ALL IS FULL OF LOVE - bjork



GHOST IN THE SHELL 2 : INNOCENCE

you can fast forward to about 4:30 seconds into it when they finally go visit a crime lab for robots i think... and then the woman who talks is haraway... which i believe is based after philosopher donna haraway who writes about cyborgs, anamatrons, gender issues and other crazy interesting stuff. you can def youtube her if you’re interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnA8WmPk__g



I-ROBOT

i thought this movie sucked.... but i don’t remember half the things that happened. i need to rewatch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLlHerOMXSI



TABO’S DOLLS

just something i found while youtubing all this stuff. japanese people are CRAZY inventive. demure on the outside, freaky on the inside!

i don’t have an issue with this besides the fact that the translator’s voice is super creepie... making tabo sound creepie... but he doesn’t sound that creepie in japanese...

bonjour

hi everyone.

i guess every blog should have some sort of mandatory intro blog entry.

although i write quite a bit in my blogs on those networking sites... i never felt the need to have my own independent blog because 1. i wanted a theme to it 2. i don't think i would get that many readers/hits that would warrant me my own indie blog.

so instead of avoiding it, i'm just gonna start it.

i may from time to time, bring some of my old blog entries here... maybe. it might just be too much work.

as a motivator, i hope you all will read, comment, and let me know how i'm doing! just cause you want to! not cause i am forcing you! ;)

xoxo